You Still Don't Know -Written 02-16-08-

You still don't know.

You read the last letter I wrote,

right?

Yes, you did.

You liked it

I think.

I'm not softer now, don't worry

I'm still that funny little

terrified

crumbling

girl you know and

I guess

love as your

mentally questionable

friend.

I have found something out since I last wrote you a letter like this;

I do love you.

Just not how I thought love was.

I NEED you in my life.

I couldn't function if you weren't around.

Period.

We may never have been very close,

I don't know if we're getting any closer,

But you mean so very much to me.

I am really embarrassed to tall you this

but

You save me.

No matter what you're there,

Not physically, of course,

But you accept me unconditionally.

I was broken, you worried

not about when or how I would feel better,

but if you could do anything to help me.

You are one of my very best friends.

I'm so thankful for you.

I pray for you, did you know that?

I do,

I pray that you stay strong,

You aren't hurt,

Your family is safe,

and that

You will always be my friend.

Your friendship means SO much to me.

Words can't describe it,

You know?

As I'm typing this, my fear is developing,

The fear that you don't.

You don't value our friendship the way I do,

You don't want me around forever,

You don't give a [insert swear word here].

I really hope you live happily,

I hope life turns out better than it has been treating you so far.

I hope you get married to a sweet person,

Not a snot,

Someone who deserves my friend.

You're bomb to be honest.

I know people read this and wonder;

Who is this to?

If it's you, please read to the end.

Well, the person reading this who isn't supposed to

Wouldn't understand the real meaning behind these words:

Whispering is scary, don't do it on the phone.

This is to mushy of a letter to be writing to someone like you,

You persevere through too much to think too much of this letter.

I bet it's too creepy to know I love you,

don't worry,

I don't mean it all mushy and stuff,

Just there is no other way to describe how much I care,

How much you matter.

Sorry I made you read another letter.

I bet it was a waste.

Good-bye now.

Smile, even if you do look kind of goofy.